The Bedtime Story

I looked forward to bedtime because, right after it was announced, I would say “Tell me a story.” This always garnered Dad's rendition of “Tell Me A Story.”

“Tell me a story, tell me a story,

Tell me a story, remember what you said

Tell me about the birds and bees

And how do you make a chicken sneeze?

Tell me a story

And then I'll go to bed. “

Then I would get a story. Most nights, Dad or Mom would read the story; but on some nights, I would get a story Dad made up.

Always, always, always take the time to tell your young children bedtime stories – even if you're exhausted. One of them might be life-changing for your children, like one was for me when I was in first grade.

“Once upon a time, there was a boy named Jack. He came home from school one day and went into his laboratory.” In the story, this boy made a great discovery that would completely change the space program – he discovered a rocket fuel that would allow the X-15 (my all-time favorite rocket plane) to take off under its own power and go all the way to orbit! Imagine that! NASA hadn't been able to do that, but I could! I knew I could accomplish anything, if a little boy named Jack could make such a great discovery.

Almost 50 years later, NASA still hasn't figured out how to achieve Single-Stage-To-Orbit.

And I still haven't figured out how to make a chicken sneeze.

Jack “Wernher von Braun” Parker

The Eagle Has Landed

There is no way to describe the excitement I felt. It was July of 1969, and we were going to land on the moon. It was the biggest thing ever to happen in The Rocket City. The moon rocket that Wernher von Braun designed, that our friends and neighbors built, and whose tests routinely shook our houses, was going to the moon! Even a 6-year-old could understand that it was big.

It was Sunday, and Apollo 11 was going to land on the moon. I had watched it lift off on Wednesday morning, and had waited for what seemed like forever for it to get to the moon. I watched Walter Cronkite explain and update. It was a heady week. Since I was 6, it never even occurred to me that we wouldn't be successful. We were going to win the Space Race!

I'm a little short on the details of the mission. Reading the actual history of it gives me things that I don't remember, like Wednesday morning and Sunday afternoon for the launch and landing. For young children, time is especially fuzzy.

I do remember the feeling, though. I was absolutely space crazy. I wanted to be an astronaut. The feeling that rock stars produce is only a weak comparison to what I felt about the manned exploration of space. 

Neil Armstrong's words were perfectly clear from a quarter-million miles away - “Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.” I don't need Wikipedia to help me with those. I will remember those words on my deathbed.

I watched every minute of the landing with my aunt Gloria. Mom and Dad had let me go to Gloria's house to watch the moon landing, because she and William had a color TV.

It was broadcast in black and white.

Jack “Neil Armstrong” Parker

A Future In Rocket Science

It was the late '60s. The space race with the Russians was on, and we were losing. Since I was in Huntsville, we lived with the sound of Saturn rocket test firings and the ardent desire to get to the moon before the Russians did. My plan was to become an Air Force test pilot, fly the X-15, and then become an astronaut.

I knew you didn't just become an astronaut without going to school, so I picked up rocketry as a hobby while I finished first grade. My parents gave me an awesome water rocket, and I learned how to fly It. I'd fill it about halfway with water, then attach it to the air pump. I'd pump and pump until it was ready to go. When I released the rocket, it would fly higher than the house! I was a real rocket engineer and astronaut all rolled into one. I was Alan Shepard. I was John Glenn. I was Wernher von Braun.

Everyone should learn the principles of rockets. I just learned them a little earlier than some do. One day Dad came home from work during the day, and before he went back to work he said he'd shoot off the cherry bomb that we'd had in a drawer for awhile. I thought this was great news - no one has ever said “cherry bomb” without getting me excited. He got an empty coffee can and the cherry bomb, and took them out to the front yard. He put the cherry bomb under the coffee can and lit the fuze. Boom! The coffee can sailed even higher than the water rocket!

Was there ever any doubt I'd become a missile engineer?

Jack “Homer Hickam” Parker

Talent Of Shakespearean Proportions

In my previous post, I said that I blamed barbed wire for my cut foot. Not true. In fact, I blamed “bobwire”. This was the earliest indication of my future literary genius. Like Shakespeare, I have displayed a tremendous talent for creating words.



Shakespeare is credited with having invented worthless words like “bedroom,” and “advertising”. These are hardly as majestic as the words I invented. In addition to the previously-mentioned “bobwire”, I invented two masterpieces: “sheekwok” and “brocteyew”.



Sheekwok is an adjective that is pronounced “sheikh-wok”, and has nothing to do with Arabs who take up Asian cooking. Sheekwok is used exclusively to describe walls that are slightly crooked. My pastor must have heard me use it because one day he said that a stapler was good to use if you wanted to affix a sign to a sheekwok wall.



Brocteyew (pronounced “BROCK-tuh-you”) is a word that means “sponsored”. It became famous after the television announcers somehow learned of my invention. They began describing television shows as being “brocteyew by Gillette,” and “brockteyew by the Ford Motor Company”.



To this day, it's hard for me to believe how much I influenced the English language as a 5-year-old.

Jack “Just Call Me William” Parker